Suzanne van de Laar is always open about her preferences: “You fight negativity with dialogue"
- Davy
- Jul 27
- 3 min read
Suzanne van de Laar is always open about her preferences: “You fight negativity with dialogue” City councillor in Almere, photographer, ambassador for Pride Amsterdam and chair of the organising foundation, involved with Winter Pride Almere, partner, mother, and a visible figure for women who love leather. What motivates Suzanne van de Laar (she/her) to be so public? An interview for Antwerp Pride 2025.
“As the first Miss Leather Netherlands, in 2019, I don’t see my preference for leather
as anything to be ashamed of. I’m a very open person.”
In the beginning, her colleagues on Almere’s city council would joke about leather: “Will she bring her whip?” “But those jokes stop once people see you handle it normally and that leather is simply a natural part of your life,” says Suzanne. “People come to you to share their stories.”
“I’m an open book,” says the Pride Amsterdam ambassador. “In the garden, I wear overalls – known as ‘salopette’ in Flanders. Outside the garden, I wear leather.”
“Sometimes people ask me if I’m a sex worker. I’m not. It’s a beautiful profession, but it’s not what I do. I’m happy with my life, I share that, and it leads to beautiful conversations.”
A little scary at first
Suzanne admits that it was a bit scary in the beginning. Before she participated in Miss Leather, she discussed it with her daughter, who was 15 or 16 at the time.
“Her response was matter of fact: ‘Go ahead, it’s not illegal.’”
Darklands
Darklings – that’s what visitors of the major fetish festival Darklands in Antwerp are called – know Suzanne as Suus. Suus gives various performances and workshops there.
“Darklands feels like family. I meet friends there from all over the world. We give workshops for people who are new to the world of leather, kink, and fetish. Darklands is a safe space – hats off to the organisation!”
In the LGBTQIA+ community, we mainly associate leather, kink, and fetish with men. Are there fewer women interested? Or are they just less open about it? “I can only speak for myself, of course.
Darklands is indeed mostly geared toward men, although you now see more women too – also among the vendors,” says Suzanne.
“Women have a harder time being open and often explore their kink more under the radar. For men it’s seen as cool, but for women it still seems a lot more difficult.”
How do you get started?
“Start in your own time and in your own way,” Suzanne advises. “Some people find it exciting to keep it secret. But you also have to be able to take some hits. Sadly, that’s still the case.”
Headwinds
Suzanne still faces a lot of hate from people who don’t understand. Her solution: start a conversation. “That goes for women, non-binary people, and men. People are afraid of what others will think of them, afraid of the labels they’ll get or for their careers. We love putting people in boxes.”
According to Suzanne, there’s a noticeable negative trend: “In Italy, Poland, Hungary, and the United States, for example. But also in Belgium and the Netherlands. In Antwerp, we’re welcome – but under conditions. You hear ‘just act normal’ more and more often.”
How do you counter that negativity?
“Through dialogue. By explaining, by sharing what leather women meant during the AIDS pandemic. How leather enthusiasts in the Netherlands in the 1970s had to come together under the guise of motorsports just to be able to open a bank account. And suddenly, that was allowed.”
Text: Timothy Junes (he/him) Photo: Marcel Lennartz (he/him)
